Two Of A Kind - Stanley's Kitchen & Tap

On June 8, we visited Stanley's Kitchen & Tap. The layout of the place is exactly as it sounds - up front is a big bar, and in the back is a diner-style restaurant. I use that term loosely, as there are no menus; each table is piled high with huge plates, and patrons help themselves to the huge buffet that all but personifies why America is obese. Having already ate, I only tried the mashed potatoes, fried chicken, bacon, melon (and as I was to soon find out, the Mango Lassie and her Empanada Boy both HATE melons. No wonder they're perfect for each other!), and a biscuit with gravy.

Stanley's has two kinds of bloody marys - one that they will make for you, and a do it yourself. The premade drink was dominant at our table, while only a few brave souls decided to take on the mammoth DIY....

Stanley's Bloody Mary - 1 pint, $6.35

the taste: 3.6

the texture: 3.7

the kick: 3.5

the sight: 2.2

the buck: 3.2

The house-made drink was very horseradishy, which I liked when I tasted it, but some others did not prefer this taste. The garnish was unanimously weak, consisting of just a measly (but crunchy! as one bracketeer noted) celery stalk - some described it as having "lackluster presentation", and "sparse garnishes", and of course Miss ML noted that presentation really is everything. Another bracketeer, while admittedly not an affecionado, noted how well it went with the mac n cheese. Yum!

The remaining judges (including yours truly) got the make your own. Weighing in at 32 oz and just over $8, this was truly a drink to contend with:

Stanley's Do It Yourself Bloody Mary Bar - 32 oz, $8.35

the taste: 4

the texture: 3.8

the kick: 4.3

the sight: 1.3

the buck: 2.8

The choices for building the base of your bloody mary were numerous, and the stock was well-maintained. You could choose from a mix, canned tomato juice, bottled tomato juice or clamato for the drink, and celery salt, worchestershire, various hot sauces (tabasco, Louisiana), white horseradish, pepper, lemons and limes to taste. The garnish choices were weak, consisting of basically only celery - though one thin, weak pickle remained, a glimpse of what once was. None of us had ever made a 32 oz bloody mary before, and it was difficult to figure out what proportions to use in the big paper cup.

I loved my bloody mary, especially because I learned from this experience that horseradish is what makes a bloody fantastic for me. Not being shy, I kept piling the stuff on, along with a nice amount of celery salt atop a base of mostly canned tomato juice topped off with some mix. Pepper of course, and LA hot sauce rounded it out. Better garnish choices would have been appreciated, but overall, I was happy with my (3.5 shot) concoction. Prince Eric liked his as well, and we happily sucked ours down. However, we can't forget those who "made their bed, and had to sleep in it. Not Stanley's fault." Better luck next time!

If you're hungover and want a huge greasy buffet (which I'm really kicking myself for not getting a picture of), and need a bit of alcoholic salvation, this is an acceptable location - though keep in mind that they don't take reservations and you might be waiting for a bit. The pre-made bloody mary could satisfy a stoned, non-discerning patron, but the DIY - if you're into that kind of thing - would be great on a game day.

Love & Libations,

Danielle

Photos courtsey of The Mango Lassie. Visit her site for a fantastic editorial, chronicaling her & Empanada Boy's adventures with local - and not so local - eats.